You’ve heard these I’m sure!

Doesn’t stop them from being funny!

IDIOT  SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that  one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the  opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made  at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a  1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ‘NO, it’s  not. ‘Four is larger than two..’
We  haven’t used Sears repair since.

IDIOT  SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.’  She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing .’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do  not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

IDIOT  SIGHTING
I live in a semi rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.  The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!  I  don’t  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.’
From Kingman , KS .

IDIOT  SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’  He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City.

IDIOT  SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage, without your knowledge?’  To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’  He smiled knowingly and nodded,
‘That’s why we ask.’
Happened in Birmingham ,  Ala.

IDIOT  SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She  was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the  company due to ‘downsizing.’ Our manager commented cheerfully,
‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at  Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her
system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no  less.

IDIOT  SIGHTING

When  my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’  His reply, ‘I know.  I already got that  side.’
This  was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

STAY ALERT!
They walk among  us… and they VOTE, and they  REPRODUCE

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