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Have I ever mentioned how much I hate dirt roads


Especially around here. We have what is known as colichi, I believe it is an ancient native American word for petrified buffalo shit. When it is dry, it is as hard as pavement. When it is wet, it is as slick as grease. And when someone grades the dirt roads, you do NOT want to travel them until it has rained and dried to resolidify it. It then turns into graphite level quicksand.

Do you have any idea how much fun it is to cartwheel a Harley Road King? These county roads are variable. Riding down pavement, turns into colichi, then some asshole has graded the section in front of his entry gate. Front wheel goes into slick shit, hits hard shit underneath, turns instantly and stops. Bike goes ass over apex, and I’ve got 5 broken ribs and a collapsed lung, among other things.

Not a pleasant experience, believe me. Fuck dirt roads. Forever. I’ve ridden many of them around here, and sometimes it’s the only way to get to somebody’s place, and there are ways to cope with it if you know it’s coming. But when it’s dark, and it’s been absolutely fine until it jumps up and bites you, I’m going to avoid them at all costs from here on out.

I’ve been riding for 46 years, and I’m not going to lie and say this is the first time I’ve ever fallen down, but damn I never got this fucked up. Hell, even when I died in 79 I never got this much damage this way.

Hmmmm, Road King=pavement. Screw dirt any more.

  1. Dr. Jeff permalink
    08/04/2017 05:15

    Hope you heal up quick. In the meantime, codeine/tylenol knocks down a lot of pain and leaves you feeling pretty good.

    How’s the bike, or should I leave that question alone?

    We’ve got some similar stuff to your colichi in the Santa Monica mountains. When I was young, there was an unpaved 8 mile long stretch of Mullholland that was East of the San Diego fwy. (since shut down by the greenies to make a nature preserve) Yeah, treacherous and rough. That’s where I learned how to drive fast. It was easy to lose control and that was on 4 wheels.

    Hang in, heal well and get your head back in the wind soon.

  2. 08/04/2017 06:06

    Thank you, Jeff. Appreciate that. Bike doesn’t seem anywhere near as tore up as me. A few things, dent in the tank, slightly tweaked crash bars, busted rear view, one of my grips, and one of my saddlebag lids. Bars are okay, windshield good.

  3. 08/04/2017 06:07

    And yes, Tylenol 3 rocks.

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